The very first wedding was between two cave people who decided that there should be a ceremony and reception. The thinking was that the village (the first ever) always celebrated before and after a hunt. They boogied down deep into the night when the monsoon season ended and they celebrated the birth of the children, so why not celebrate when two cave people decided to move into their first cave and share a life together? Grog wanted to give the guests wedding presents because when they announced the ritual, to be held by the tribe’s holy man; everyone looked at them as if they were crazy and refused to come to the event claiming they had to wash each other’s hair and was way behind in picking bugs off each other.
This is how the very first wedding planner came to be. Winnie’s brother, Rock Stonehead suggested they give gifts to the tribe members who would show up. The problem was what to give. Trog was smart though, and he knew that when lightning struck the beach, the heating of the sand made glass, so he gathered up a bunch of it and picked up some of the shiny rocks that they had found while shopping for a good cave to spend their lives in. Therefore, each guest received glass-wedding favors and the tribe elders received crystal-wedding favors.
Trog and Winnie had a beautiful ceremony under a great tree that provided plenty of shade for the guests. Of course, they had to because the tribe’s holy man was not convinced that moving out of the trees was a good idea and still made his home there. The couple got married but they put their wedding rings through their nose instead of on their fingers. This is because they were still dragging knuckles and the rings kept falling off in the rocks and dirt. Many years later, one of trog and Winnies descendents started the tradition of putting the wedding ring on the finger because they had a cold and did not want to get snot on the ring. They placed it on the finger since their arms had shortened and no longer scraped the ground.
At Trog and Winnies wedding party, now known as a reception, the first thing they did after bandaging their heads was to create music. They had to bandage their heads because they did not have rice to throw back then so they threw sticks and rocks. The first wedding band was formed as the guests started to get bored and were dancing but there was no music. A friend of Trog was tapping on a log when everyone realized it sounded pretty good. After that, several of the tribe was joining in on the fun by beating the trees with the bones of the animals they had for supper the night before. Soon, the reception was really swinging.
Another tradition that was born on that first wedding was the kissing of the bride. Before this, they just went around licking each other’s faces. But Winnie, who loved to eat wild berries was about to open her mouth to speak when Trog went to give her their first lick as a married couple and stuck his tongue in her mouth quite by accident. It tasted so good that soon, everyone was eating berries and “kissing” each other.
The best part was when the couple finally got tired and the fire had burned so low that they could barely see. Trog took his new bride to their new cave to consummate their marriage. Unfortunately, there was no such thing as full disclosure so the cave estate agent that sold Trog and Winnie the cave did not tell them that there was still a saber-toothed tiger living in it and they were both eaten during the night.
Aaron Hu has authored on an extensive range of topics related to the wedding industry. If you are looking for Glass wedding favors, E-WeddingFavors.com has the biggest selection available. You will also find Wedding Favors and much more, all at very affordable prices.
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