Fantasy

The more I drank, the more I fantasized everything.
I imagined getting even for hurts and rejections. In my mind’s eye
I played and replayed scenes in which I was plucked magically from the bar
where I stood nursing a drink and was instantly exalted
to some position of power and prestige. I lived in a dream world.
AA led me gently from this fantasizing to embrace reality with open arms.
And I found it beautiful! For, at last, I was at peace with myself.
And with others. And with God.
- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 559

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My life had long since lost any glimmer of hope…

There was a fantasy alright but it was in the past…All the things I truly believed I had done…The feats I had accomplished…The women I had conquered…All a pack of lies…When I first come into AA I carried this baggage with me…I began to spin all the old tales & then one day while reading the big book & the really Big Book I came across some scripture that said 6 things does the Lord detest…Murder,covetousness…etc…but the 7th is an abomination…ALL LIARS…This hit hard…I was trying to work the steps & I realized that if I were ever to find sobriety I would have to recount & make amends for all my lies…I immediately went to the people I could remember I had told my tales to & then said it out-loud in the meetings…I found peace on that level…I didn’t get sober for about another year but I was on the trail…Till next time…

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