Most people don’t like to be alone. Most are afraid of loneliness, especially because we know that at some point in time most people spend time alone for one reason or another.
People can find themselves alone for a period of time because of a number of circumstances, including but not limited to the death of a spouse, a child moving out, a breakup of a relationship. These are all difficult situations. They are things we can overcome, however. To make life fuller and richer, it is critical to get to where you can enjoy things without needing another person to enjoy it with.
This is a very hard thing to understand. People have to be able to appreciate and enjoy life on their own. Some people become so dependent on others that they really cannot enjoy any activity without someone there. It’s like telling a story.
If we have a story to tell but no audience, then there is no value to the story. This way of thinking is not healthy. We set ourselves up to depend on others to an unhealthy degree when we think this way, because we can’t enjoy anything unless there is someone there with us.
Sharing experiences and stories is enjoyable and important of course. But, that is not the important thing. The important thing is to enjoy what you are doing. You should be able to fully experience and enjoy your activities, all by yourself.
When you are able to enjoy things on your own, no one can take this away from you. You will always be able to remember this good time also. This is the key to true independence. You’ll find that you are happier and stronger as a result, regardless of your circumstances.
Sometimes the thought of being comfortable with oneself and happy alone can seem morbid or depressing. Just remember, this doesn’t mean that you can’t share things with others. The goal is that you should not feel that you have to share with someone for there to be value in experiences.
Think of it in terms of both, and not either. We can be fully independent and able to enjoy activities on our own, and this allows us to savor our experiences more fully when we do share them with others.
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